Let Your Children Risk a Little: The Case for Risky Play

I often see the quote “What if I fall?  Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?” used as a caption on various social media outlets, usually underneath a photo of an adorable little human, and posted by a proud mama who wants nothing less than the world for her child.  Every time I see this quote it gets me thinking about how whimsical and beautiful it sounds in theory, as words on a page often do, but what is the real world manifestation of this, and what does it mean for our children?  Do we, as a society, value the ability of flight that comes from letting our children engage in risk taking play behaviors, or have we become too afraid of letting them fall? 

I grew up in a household where I was allowed to wander around the sewers with my friends, we climbed huge mountains of rocks and collected the best ones from construction sites, we played in the gutters while it rained, climbed tress as high as we could, and rode our bikes as fast as possible, with no hands of course (and in my case falling off and knocking out my two front teeth).  We chased each other, wrestled, and jumped off the high dive even when were terrified to do so.  It was all always worth the risk.  These forms of risky play are so very important to the development of young children. 

From an evolutionary perspective this type of play has proven to be invaluable, and teaches children an infinite amount of important things.  Their bodies grow and adapt to learning new physical skills as they build with new materials, learn how to use a hammer, whittle with a knife, or utilize rarely used muscle groups while climbing a tree.

  They learn how to regulate their emotions when something doesn’t go their way, or they get hurt while playing rough.  For example, during rough and tumble play (which I let my childcare kids engage in, though I know most providers don’t), if one child gets hurt accidently they may become angry.  However, they know that in order to continue the fun they were having they must be able to overcome that anger.  If they decide to lash out and retaliate, the play is over.  If they can learn how to deal with that anger (usually with my help) in a constructive way, the fun can continue.  

They learn how to work together and manage a situation in order to find the safest way to achieve their goal.  I see this taking place every single time I take the kids to play in the nearby creek.  We go over the rules, and they become the most helpful and responsible friends and siblings.  They help each other over larger rocks, they call out warnings such as “be careful right there Yards, that was a slippery one!”.  They learn about the powerful rush of water in certain spots, and stop to take notice of how when the water goes faster its more difficult for them to move through it, versus where the water is slower.  

Last week I tore out some old stones from my garden bed and decided to break them up into smaller pieces to see if the kids would be interested in building with them (which of course they were).  I had three different adults say to me “Arent those too heavy for them?”, “What if they drop them?”, “What if they trip over them while trying to carry one?”.  These are all valid questions, and of course we all want to keep our kids as safe as possible, but they NEED to be able to have experiences where they are able to push their abilities to new levels, which is exactly what they did. 

They never cease to amaze me with their capabilities, and this time was no different.  I asked them to sit down, explained to them that these stones are very heavy and that they need to lift them slowly and place them down slowly.  I told them they had to wear shoes and that if they felt one of the stones was too heavy for them that I would come grab it from them.  I told them that they need to focus and be very careful while piling them, and that if one of the toddlers started walking around them, they had to stop until I moved them. 

They followed every single one of these rules with laser like precision.  I was bursting with pride at how even my most easily distracted child was able to focus, and place each brick perfectly in its place.  They were also beaming with pride as they showed me their carefully constructed castles.  It mean so much to them that they were able to take on this adult-like task.  They told me all about how they were strong construction workers, how they would use the concrete to hold their castles together, and they praised the work of their friends.  It was truly a wonderful thing to watch.

Unfortunately though, I believe this kind of play is allowed less and less.  As a society I believe that we are beginning to see the harmful consequences of play deprivation.  “Over the past 60 years we have witnessed, a continuous, gradual, but ultimately dramatic decline in children’s opportunities to play freely, without adult control, and especially in their opportunities to play in risky ways. Over the same 60 years we have also witnessed a continuous, gradual, but ultimately dramatic increase in all sorts of mental disorders, especially emotional disorders, in children.  When you look back at the six categories of risky play (great heights, rapid speeds, dangerous tools, dangerous elements, rough and tumble, and disappearing/getting lost) in the 1950s, even young children regularly played in all of these ways, and adults expected and permitted such play.  Now parents who allowed such play would likely be accused of negligence, by their neighbors, if not by state authorities.” (Peter Gray PHD-Psychology Today)

While we may not be able to draw a direct connection between the lack of play and emotional disorders, there have been studies conducted on both rats and monkeys that would lead one to believe that there must be some correlation. 

“Researchers have devised ways to deprive young rats of play, during a critical phase of their development, without depriving them of other social experiences.  Rats raised in this way grow up emotionally crippled.  When placed in a novel environment, they overact with fear and fail to adapt and explore as a normal rat would.  When placed with an unfamiliar peer, they may alternate between freezing in fear and lashing out with inappropriate, ineffective, aggression.  In earlier experiments, similar findings occurred when young monkeys were deprived of play (though the controls in those experiments were not as good as in the subsequent rat experiments).  Such findings have contributed to the emotion regulation theory of play—the theory that one of play’s major functions is to teach young mammals how to regulate fear and anger.  In risky play, youngsters dose themselves with manageable quantities of fear and practice keeping their heads and behaving adaptively while experiencing that fear.  They learn that they can manage their fear, overcome it, and come out alive.” (Psychology Today)

Research has continuously shown that risky play (within reason) is of the utmost importance and I would urge parents, caretakers, and providers to research the benefits, and watch in amazement at what your children are capable of when they are given the freedom to play.

 

An Ode to Mud

Okay, no I have not written a song or poem about mud, but what I am going to do is shed some light on the subject of the importance of playing in the mud.  Most people tend to cringe at the very thought of letting their children roll around in mud, squashing it through their fingers and toes, and getting it in their hair, and I get it.  It’s a lot of work, and can be a disgusting mess, but, that’s what hoses are for right?  So, here are just a few of the reasons I firmly believe you should let your children make mud pies, use mud as an artistic medium, roll around in mud, and do anything else mud related that their brilliant imaginations can conjure up.

1. Mud is Scientist and Doctor Recommended – Something that I did not know about myself until my late twenties, when my husband and I bought our first house together is that I LOVE to garden!  I love everything about it, and at the end of a long day of working in the garden, I feel great.  I feel refreshed, happy, and generally just relieved of stress.  As it turns out, there is some sound scientific reasoning as to why I feel this way after a day in the dirt.  I won’t go into the detailed science of it all, but a 2007 study, originally published in the journal of Neuroscience found that a “friendly” bacteria found in soil activates brain cells to produce serotonin.  They essentially found that playing/working in the dirt has the same effect on one’s brain as an anti-depressant, leaving you happier, and less stressed.  So not only is the mud great for children’s mental health, but for ours as well!  It seems we should all take some time out to play in the mud.  If you would like to read more about the science of soil you can visit http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/66840.php
2. Mud is an Astoundingly Wonderful Medium for Open-Ended Play and Learning – When children are allowed to explore with mud and a few simple household items, the sky is the limit.  They express their creativity in a myriad of ways, they enhance fine motor skills, and practice literacy and math skills.  They are given the chance to explore texture, see what happens when mud dries, or when dirt becomes wet, they use problem solving skills, and investigate volume.  They utilize their communication skills and practice working together and cooperation as they cook, clean and experience pride in their completed work.  All of the pictures I have here are of us working in the mud kitchen, but that does not mean you must have a mud kitchen to play in the mud.  Children are very resourceful and will utilize the materials you give them in the most creative way possible.  All you have to do is give them the medium, maybe include a some utensils, pots and pans, shakers, etc. and they will create their own world.
3. Playing in the Mud Helps Children to Connect with Nature – In this age of technology I don’t think I need to say much more than that this is something which children desperately need.  As screens become a bigger and more time consuming part of our day (at home and in school) children desperately need to be able to take time out to connect with nature, and they need a variety of ways to do that.  Our children are suffering from a nature deficit, but there are so many ways to turn this around, and mud play is just one of them.
4. Mud Play is an Amazing Sensory Experience for Babies and Toddlers – Mud provides a completely new and different tactile experience than any other sensory medium.  Babies and Toddlers should be given the opportunity to squish it in their fingers and toes, sit in it, sift it, and search through it.  You can sit them in a bin, or simply let them crawl around in the mud.  Either way they will love it, and benefit from it!

These are just a few of the ways that mud can benefit our children, and us as well.  I hope that you will take it to heart and let your little ones indulge in this rewarding and beneficial activity.  Happy Playing!